I enjoy a good mustache. I know I’m not alone in this. You all know it. A really bad ‘stache is really, really funny. If a particular mustachioed gentleman is a giant douche, I blame it on the mustache. If a circus ringmaster has no mustache, he loses all cred. A hard-ass, Harley riding, roadhouse regular m’erf’er without a mustache? Harder to spot than a purple unicorn. Femme-stache, nuff said. The mustache is more than facial hair preference. It’s a way of life. And it’s funny.
Okay, so recently, I have found myself in a mustache dilemma that isn’t so funny. For many ladies, especially us dark haired girls, taking care of our unwanted facial hair is a right of passage. At some point, usually in our teens, we realize that our eyebrows are a little unruly, or that dainty peach fuzz above our lip is looking more like a 15 year old boy’s than a 17 year old girl’s. We begin the life long ritual of waxing, plucking, or (good gawd) laser removal. It’s life, no biggie. I have two girls, I thought I’d be ready for the day that one of them came to me with concerns about their little Latina ‘staches and Brooke Shields brows. I just always figured this was a Jr. High kind of conversation.
Grace is six years old. Last week she complained that she has, “A little mustache.” She looked oh-so-forlorn and continued, “ …and I really don’t like it.” So. Yeah. Wasn’t ready for the Kindergartener to lay that one on me. (And believe me, what this kid’s got is nothing! Sheeesh!) So, where did this come from? How is she so self-aware at age 6? I was a complete idiot at 6. My mother had to remind me to comb my hair before running out the door to catch the morning bus. I couldn’t have cared less about matching clothes or wearing glasses. I was a happy 6 year old idiot, and life was good.
Now, the concerns I began having at 15 are troubling my kid at 6. What do I do? Do I let her foray into this grown up world of vanity and excessive grooming? Hell no. For a few reasons:
- Dealing with your own physical uniqueness is part of growing up. This is how we are made. All little 6 year old Latina beauties should have tiny baby ‘staches and wicked-awesome eyebrows. It’s beautiful.
- If we teach our kids at an early age that if they don’t like something about themselves they should hurry up and change it, what kind of message are we sending? (Hint: A crappy one.)
- I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if my mother hadn’t taught me to settle for the Shopko clearance plastic glasses, (it’s what we could afford and it served it’s purpose – I could see the chalkboard), home perms at the kitchen table, and last year’s hand-me-downs. I wasn’t a cool kid. I wasn’t a pretty, best dressed, most popular kid. BUT. I was a decent kid, a good friend, and an honor student. I learned early that there is more to a person than the way they look. My best friends from age 12 are my best friends today. Score one for the mustache.
- Today, more than ever, I want my girls to love themselves, love the bodies God gave them, and be proud of their uniqueness. I want them to have a strong sense of self worth, a strong sense of heritage, and the confidence to become whatever the heck they want.
I’m here today say that the mustache might help my save my kids’ childhood. I’m learning new respect for the mustache. And this is my plan:
In a show of solidarity to my mamitas lindas, I am going to put my facial hair grooming regimen on an indefinite hiatus. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to take this opportunity to show my girls that you can be beautiful and different, and, well, hairy — all at the same time.
So, if you run into me in the coming months and I am rockin’ a wicked peach fuzz, or you happen to notice that my unibrow seems to be creeping into my hairline…give me some props, make sure my kids hear you. Show us some hairy-ass love.
And if you think I’m nuts, and judge me for my new, au naturel look, don’t worry, I’ll chalk it up to mustache envy.
Later Gators.
13 comments
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November 11, 2009 at 11:56 am
Sugarwilla
You are a great mom and beautiful person, Sara. I’m throwing some hairy-ass love your way.
Bertwilla ( I had a unibrow growing up )
😉
November 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Stacy
Awesome Sara! You have some seriously beautiful little latinas. They should be proud of who they are.. exactly as they are!!
Having said that.. I waxed this morning *sigh*… I’ll call it a requirement of my job. 😉
Great post. Little girls should understand that they are beautiful just as they are… when they grow up to be confident women with a strong sense of self.. they can decide on their own if ripping the hair off their face is truly important to them.. for their OWN reasons.
((Hugs))
Stacy
November 11, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Sara
Ha! Well, believe me, I will support their grown-up grooming habits fully. 🙂 I even look forward to mother-daughter spa days! (YAY!) But for now, I think we are all gonna be rocking the “Santiago ‘Stache” — it’s kind of liberating. lol
November 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Bruce
Giving birth doesn’t make a woman a mother. Actions like THESE makes a woman a mother. Love it.
November 11, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Stacy
I totally agree with Bruce!
November 11, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Natali
As your separated at birth sister, you know I give a resounding HELLS FREAKIN’ YEAH!!!! to all of this. Unibrow, 70’s porn stache, ear hair, braided nose hair, coffee house goatee, no matter what you sport, you will ALWAYS be gorgeous to me dearie. ALWAYS. And, cuz of the mad love I have for you, I will stand right next to you and go “Whaaaa?” to anyone that dares look at you crosseyed for sportin’ it. Then I’ll woop ’em one, cuz you know, can’t mess with my loved ones. 🙂
My Grace came out lookin like a rookie and it will oh so shock you to know her and G2 are mustache buddies. I’m so gonna need your help when it comes time to deal with the patch above her butt though, cuz girl I’m healthy and beauty department challenged.
Bottom line- love this, love you, love the baby stache. Mwuah! YOU RAWK.
November 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Juji
Does this mean I can finally start growing what little facial hair I have. Yea!!! 😉
November 11, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Mare
Great post, Sara. My 12 yr old is shaving her legs, 10 yr old wants nothing to do with that stuff – yet and my 7 yr old could care less as long as she has something to play with.
However, a classmate of said 7 yr old is fair skinned but has a Japanese heritage. She is absolutely stunning with porcelain skin, blue eyes and jet black hair. Her mother has been bleaching her ‘stache since kindergarten “so the other kids don’t make fun of her.” The other kids don’t even notice.
So, to you, well done! I will leave Mr. Tweezerman at home when next we meet and I’ll buy you a beer, too!
November 17, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Elaine Spitz
Sara – I LOVE how thoughtful you’re being with your precious daughters – kids are awesome and innocent and it’s a challenge not to throw all our own fears and junk onto them. I have sons, so the physical uniqueness challenge is different (they are in their 20s and each seems pretty comfortable in his own skin) – good for you to be mindful that it can be rough out there for females (starting at age 6 OMG!). Keep the conversation going and keep up the good work.
August 26, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Jane Somers
Thanks for sharing this! You are an amazing mom in so many ways. What a smart – and selfless – way to combat the barrage of pressure that little girls face.
P.S. I just watched Frida. She was another remarkable woman.
May 3, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Mustache Love, Redux: Continued Growth « sarasantiago.com
[…] Sunday May 8th, I will bring Mustache Love to The Barrymore Theater in Madison, Wisconsin as part of the Listen To Your Mother […]
June 23, 2011 at 11:27 am
Word to Your Mother. « sarasantiago.com
[…] Last month, I was given the opportunity to bring a much loved blog-post-turned-movement-of-inclusion to the stage as part of the Listen To Your Mother Show, created and directed by Ann Imig and sponsored by BlogHer. I was so excited to share it with the audience at The Barrymore Theater. For those of you who may have seen the video, but are no familiar with how #MustacheLove came to be, read Mustache Love, Redux: Continued Growth. If you’d like to read the original post, click here. […]
January 9, 2013 at 3:50 pm
Katy P
brilliant! I LOVE this!