On the recommendation of a fellow Milwaukee beer snob, I recently read Andrew Wagner’s post, My beef with “beer snobs”, on onmilwaukee.com. The following is my response.
Whoa, brah. Dial it back a second. Don’t confuse the term “beer snob” with the term “douche bag”.
As many of my 13 readers know, I am somewhat of an authority on douchebaggery. After all, my mission in life is to stamp out douche-y behavior whenever I encounter it. What Wagner describes in his post is clearly super-douche behavior.
And I totally agree with him.
Why does anyone care what kind of beverage anyone else drinks anyway? How totally weird is that? (Very.) When someone walks into a bar and acts like a know-it-all asshat, it’s clearly done in an attempt to look special, or wicked-awesome, or… something. Sadly, it’s pretty lame and douche-y. THAT is not a beer snob. THAT is just a plain old douche bag. (Related: It’s totally ok to want to kick those people in the nards. I’m not encouraging you to do that. I’m just saying, it’s ok to feel like you want to. We all do.)
I am a self-proclaimed beer snob. I enjoy craft beer. I enjoy the amazing aromas and flavors that have been created by people who imagined a new combination of malts, hops, yeasts and spices and just said, “Fuck it, let’s give it a go then…” I enjoy beer in the same way I enjoy great food. Most real beer snobs do. We bear the title with a lot of love for delicious brew and a little bit of humor. We don’t really take ourselves that seriously, we just like beer.
That being said, anyone who knows me knows that I am a champion of the Pabst Blue Ribbon Tall Boy. *genuflects* I like it. In fact, I can dig the original recipe Schlitz too. I don’t enjoy Budweiser or Miller Lite, however, I do find a shorty High Life acceptable (meh) as a bloody mary chaser. (It is the champagne of beers, after all.)
So Andrew, I’d like to buy you a Schlitz. I’d like to have a few laughs over a few brews and show you what real beer snobs are like. I think you’ll like us when you get to know us, and there are advantages to having beer snobs for friends — we’ve always got cold beer in the fridge. 😉
7 comments
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February 25, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Nicholas Crawford
Ohmygoodness, I so want to become a beer snob now!
February 25, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Tom Betz
Sara is right. Beerophiles, oleophiles and scotch-heads are pretentious and elitist. A beer connoisseur appreciates a great pour but need not proselytize. For me set and setting is the biggest determinant of a memorable drink. PBR on the beach with your lover trumps trophy wine sipped in isolation.
February 25, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Rick Rezek
Am I reader #14? You could buy me a Schlitz and forget Andrew. At one time around 30 years ago I was doing my part to keep the Schlitz brewery in business. Had to move to Milwaukee to find this old favorite has been reborn. Nice blog.
February 25, 2010 at 9:56 pm
Kay
I love beer. I love trying all kinds of beer. I will drink all kinds of beer and appreciate everything the brewmaster did to make that beer phenomenal. Lagers, Ambers, Porters, Stouts, Lambics…I drink lots of beer. However, in order to keep myself vertical, I drink Miller Lite. Lots of Miller Lite. I adore Miller Lite. I am a Miller Lite snob.
February 25, 2010 at 10:10 pm
Sarah
Greatly looking forward to our beer tasting date night. You know. Someday. 🙂
February 25, 2010 at 10:34 pm
MCM Mama
You are welcome to come drink with me anytime. I’ll even buy you a Pabst…
February 25, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Jen
It’s probably a little douchey to admit this, but I’m thrilled to see someone in the beer snob/Internet sphere talk about their love of craft beer and PBR in the same post (okay, maybe not douchey, just dorky). Perhaps the fact that I have cans of Miller Lite in the porch fridge IS douchey, though… (Came up you via Beer Runner, by the way.)