It’s been awhile, huh? (If you missed the 2.0 post, check it out here.)
Plenty of times I’ve begun an update post. Each time, I toss it. Here’s a secret for anyone who’s never had to deal with medical shenanigans of this type:
We are kinda sick of talking about it.
We pretty much just want to get through it, get life back to some semblance of normal, to feel like ourselves again. We don’t want to make a fuss. I mean, there are so many people dealing with much, much worse.
(Seriously, punch me right in the face if I ever get all too dramatic about this.)
I get to live. My kids are scared, but they’ll be ok. My husband is exhausted, but he’s hanging in there with me. My friends and family have repeatedly surrounded us with love and support, and they amaze me on a daily basis. So, I’m lucky. I’m grateful. And I just want to quietly heal this body without much fanfare or drama.
I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that a positive attitude is absolutely essential in recovery from any illness. I’ve also learned that unrealistic expectations can chip away at your positivity. If you are not honest with yourself about the changes in your body and the changes in your life in general, you can easily forget to appreciate the opportunity you have been given, opportunities that not everyone else has.
Healing from surgery and learning to cope with a life-long condition requires patience, gratitude, perspective, and a whole lot of humor. It would be easy for me to fall into pity-party mode, but what would that get me? Jack shit. That’s what.
I’m lucky. I know that. This isn’t an easy road, but most things that are worth it aren’t. I got a second chance! No one said it was going to be a fucking pool party. Some days are tougher than others. Some days I am a bit more impatient than I should be. I’m learning. I’m getting there.
So aaaaaaaaanyway…
Turns out, I need a second surgery. This one is to treat my tethered spinal cord. This condition, related to Chiari Malformation and Syringomyelia, causes a veritable smorgasbord (orgasboard)* of neurological symptoms. It’s progressing faster than I had hoped it would, and we need to address the issue before any more nerve damage is permanent.
So, watch for the newest upgrade, coming September 2010. It’s gonna be bananas.
Later Gators.
*see what I did there? #bwahahahahaha #holycrapimfunny #thatsenoughsara
Oh, and because enough of you have asked, yes, I have a totally badass scar. Dig it.
And a scar like that earned me this. Holla.
21 comments
Comments feed for this article
August 9, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Marjie (triveragirl)
OMG you’re amazing Sara!! I’m just speechless.
August 9, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Stu Nami
I happy and sad to read this. My friend has gone in for multiple brain/head surgeries this year, and it scares me every time. His wife and 2 boys have been through a lot, so I can feel your family too. I am glad to talk to you online, was great to meet your girls and awesome hubby. Keep up the positives, and the snarkitives. And if you ever need a head skin stapler, my buddy took the one they left in his room the last time. 🙂
August 9, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Sara
Stu,
You pretty much make people want to tackle hug you. Or is that just me? No, I’m pretty sure it’s people. All of them. Thanks for being there for me Stu.
Also, you might be able to save me some cash on staple removal next month…let’s talk… 😉
August 9, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Sara
You’re speechless because you want my wallet. It happens to everybody. 😀 xo
August 9, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Deanna McNeil
Wow, some folks just have to shine at *anything* they do, even scars! I am not a regular reader (yet) but I just had to stop by to hug you. It takes a great deal of stubbornness to decide to get well, that is the bottom line. It is the biggest energy suck I have ever coped with, glad you have all sorts of support. Please add me to the “supporters” roster 🙂
August 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Sara
Deanna,
That may be one of my new favorite lines, “It takes a great deal of stubbornness to decide to get well.” I love that! It does, indeed. I’m so glad you stopped by. I’ll take that hug and add to to the list of awesome m-erF-er’s in my life. 🙂 SS
August 9, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Juji
You want us to punch you in the face if you get too dramatic about this? I think you earned the right to be a little dramatic. Don’t you?
You are a Jedi. Nothing will keep you down! This surgery is just the governments way of keeping your midichlorian count in check. What they don’t know is that you’re too strong for their primitive technology.
Love you! xoxo
August 9, 2010 at 7:25 pm
tracey
Think of how awesome you will be after getting not one, but TWO upgrades in one year! You will be unstoppable.
Tackle hug.
August 9, 2010 at 8:19 pm
trustemedia
Sara, I am so sorry you have to go through another surgery. I know it’s stressful. We went through 3 here in my house in 9 months. Shoulder surgery and hernia for my husband and I had to have a hysterectomy in January that I was so not ready for. And I cried all the time beforehand. It was a very emotional life-changing kind of surgery for me as a woman.
I don’t know you personally, but have seen you speak and I love how raw and straight-forward you are. Your postings make me laugh and make me wish we could all just be like you everyday and not formally written behind our suits. You are so awesome and strong and I am sure you will get through this as well and then finally… things we will be all better and you can be happy and pain-free all the time.
Good luck to you. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hugs, Tracy
August 9, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Al Krueger
You kick ass. Thank you.
August 9, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Heidi Braun
Sara,
I follow you on Twitter (like 9/10ths of the rest of Milwaukee) and I MUST give you mad love. You’re an incredibly strong, determined, hilariously funny chica. Though I’ve never “met” you, I can tell you’ll continue to be a fighter. Fight for your kids. Fight for your hubs, fight for you. Your story and your willingness to share it is an amazing gift. So thank you. I, like the rest of your peeps, am sorry you have to go through this. But I can’t think of anyone stronger to fight it head on than you. Keep fighting!
-Heidi
@JCHeidi
August 9, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Heidi Braun
P.S. The scar is absolutely kick ass. Battle wound for sure!
August 9, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Lace
So bummed to hear u need detethering. I know when I was detethered a lot of symptoms subsided. Hang in there and keep those heat packs on your back
August 9, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Megan Strand
Love your tweets – they make me laugh on a daily basis. So inspired by your fighting spirit and greatly appreciate you sharing your story.
Just dropped by to let you know we’re rooting for you out here in the PacNW – if you ever get out this way, we’ll treat you to some *real* beer. 🙂
August 10, 2010 at 6:15 am
Lace
I thought I would pass along some shared blog post that I did about Tethered cord ~ the first one in my brilliant surgeon explaining what tethered cord does to your brain and your body ~ http://imzipped.blogspot.com/2008/08/dr-b-explains-tethered-cord.html
This one is about preparing emotionally and physically for surgery ~
http://imzipped.blogspot.com/2008/03/preparing-for-tethered-cord-surgery.html
Best of luck ~ Lace
August 10, 2010 at 10:16 am
Kristin (@tinmakeup)
Oh my goodness Sara…this was really not the news we were all hoping to hear. Your positivity is amazing and inspiring and heartening. Please let us out here in the Twitterverse know if there is anything we can do for you or your family. You are strong and resilient and I have no doubt 3.0 is going to ROCK. Thank you for sharing this with us. 🙂
August 10, 2010 at 10:53 am
Sara
Thank you all for the support and encouragement you give. It’s easy to keep a positive attitude when I’m surrounded by such great people. It means so much to me, and it makes all the difference. xoxo
August 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm
CoffeeJitters (Judy Haley)
that is a totally badass scar. I was having a bad day today (my battle is cancer) and you picked me up. I love that. Hope I can return the favor some day.
September 1, 2010 at 9:41 pm
Chris
We haven’t met, but Sugarwilla tweeted about this earlier. Your courage and strength in this is beyond admirable and I’d just like you to know that all of my best thoughts will be with you and your family tomorrow.
All the best to you!
Chris
September 1, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Terri
I’m rooting for you, Sara! One of my besties, Sugarwilla, has told about you. My hubs and I have been through a lot of surgical shenigans ourselves…he has had a brain tumor for the last 9 years, 8 of which we have been together. Biopsies, surgeries, chemo & radiation have become part of our ‘normal’ vocabulary. He is doing great, and has been seizure free for the last 5 years even tho they will never be able to remove the whole tumor.
I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow, and sending you all sorts of positive, healing light. Hug hard, laugh loud, & kick some ass.
PS – Hubs had 30 or so staples after both major surgeries – he’s your badass scar twin!
October 25, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Pamela
Wow, Sara – that’s quite a scar. Glad I stumbled onto your blog today (via @lovingthebike on Twitter). I’m looking forward to reading more and in the meantime, thanks for the perspective.