An ongoing list of shit that really grinds my gears.

1. Use of the word EPIC in every day conversation. (Most notably used on Twitter.) No, your nap, shower, sandwich, etc. Is not/was not/never will be EPIC, so shut the fuck up, mkay?

2. Whiners. Enough said.

3. People who park like morons.

4. People who drive like morons.

5. Morons.

6. People who brag about “never” watching TV. Um, am I supposed to be impressed by this? First of all, I immediately wonder if you’re even marginally entertaining and/or funny. Second of all, I think you’re lying anyway.

7. Preachy vegans and Religious zealots. I like meat and I like Jesus. I’m not interested in discussing this with either of you. Thanks.

8. “Yummo.” If you say this in front of me, I promise to fight the urge to slap you. ESPECIALLY if you are a dude.

9. “Social Media Experts” that don’t know when to dial it back.

10. Chubby Trick or Treaters that ask, “I can only take ONE?”

11. Dudes wearing Skinny Jeans their sister’s jeans.

12. People who steal other people’s ideas/content/funny/snark. Total douchebaggery.

13. Self promoters that don’t know when to dial it back.

14. The Shake Weight This has actually become a source of much laughter for me. I take it back.

15. Pajama Jeans?!? Goddammit, America.

16. “Humblebraggarts”

to be continued…