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My kids aren’t perfect. My kids brew beer. *drops mic*



On the recommendation of a fellow Milwaukee beer snob, I recently read Andrew Wagner’s post, My beef with “beer snobs”, on The following is my response.

Whoa, brah. Dial it back a second. Don’t confuse the term “beer snob” with the term “douche bag”.

As many of my 13 readers know, I am somewhat of an authority on douchebaggery. After all, my mission in life is to stamp out douche-y behavior whenever I encounter it. What Wagner describes in his post is clearly super-douche behavior.

And I totally agree with him.

Why does anyone care what kind of beverage anyone else drinks anyway? How totally weird is that? (Very.) When someone walks into a bar and acts like a know-it-all asshat, it’s clearly done in an attempt to look special, or wicked-awesome, or… something. Sadly, it’s pretty lame and douche-y. THAT is not a beer snob. THAT is just a plain old douche bag. (Related: It’s totally ok to want to kick those people in the nards. I’m not encouraging you to do that. I’m just saying, it’s ok to feel like you want to. We all do.)

I am a self-proclaimed beer snob. I enjoy craft beer. I enjoy the amazing aromas and flavors that have been created by people who imagined a new combination of malts, hops, yeasts and spices and just said, “Fuck it, let’s give it a go then…” I enjoy beer in the same way I enjoy great food. Most real beer snobs do. We bear the title with a lot of love for delicious brew and a little bit of humor. We don’t really take ourselves that seriously, we just like beer.

That being said, anyone who knows me knows that I am a champion of the Pabst Blue Ribbon Tall Boy. *genuflects* I like it. In fact, I can dig the original recipe Schlitz too. I don’t enjoy Budweiser or Miller Lite, however, I do find a shorty High Life acceptable (meh) as a bloody mary chaser. (It is the champagne of beers, after all.)

So Andrew, I’d like to buy you a Schlitz. I’d like to have a few laughs over a few brews and show you what real beer snobs are like. I think you’ll like us when you get to know us, and there are advantages to having beer snobs for friends — we’ve always got cold beer in the fridge. 😉

Last weekend we did the short tour of the Denver area. In four days we managed to hike, drink, hike, drink and then do a little hiking and drinking.

Within an hour off the plane I was cursing the steps leading up to the Red Rocks amphitheater…jesus I’m out of shape. Then spent the rest of the morning hiking the beautiful Red Rocks trails. I stepped on a rattlesnake hole. Sweet. Our long weekend was non-stop action. From touch down to take off, there was nary a dull moment. Throughout the weekend we did a fair amount of hiking and exploring, Golden, Littleton, Denver, Ft. Collins, Idaho Springs, Golden Gate State Park, Lookout Mountain, hell I even went to Buffalo Bill’s grave. (Don’t ask, the nieces wanted to see it.) But that’s not what I want to talk about here. I want to talk about one of the most glorious things I saw in Colorado. One of my favorite things in life. Something very dear to me, one of my greatest loves. I want to talk about beer.

The various craft beers produced in Colorado are nearly enough to get me to plant roots and send for the children. Because beautiful high desert Colorado isn’t amazing enough, right? Add to the abundance of sunshine, mountain views, skiing, hiking, biking, rafting etc — lovingly crafted, fresh, delicious beer. It’s fair to say that we spent an equal amount of time on beer tasting, beer touring and beer discussion as we did hiking and exploring. If you enjoy beer, please add Colorado to your Foursquare to-do list. You won’t be disappointed.

In particular, I had the opportunity to visit the brewery of some of my most favorite beers, New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins, CO. Holy crap I love this place! It is a wind and solar powered paradise. The brewery itself is beautiful, a balance of form and function topped off with the happiest “co-workers” (it’s employee owned) you have ever met. Augie had to tear me away from the tasting room at the end of the two hour tour.

Tom. We love Tom. La Folie

So, a gigantic THANK YOU to Tom (our tour guide) and all of the folks at New Belgium that lovingly produce some of my favorite beverages. Thanks for a great day, lots of delicious beer, and letting me Tweet my way through the brewery. 🙂